OK, time for another roundup of all the news that’s fit to…er…all the news I feel like writing about. So, without further ado…
Colin (2009): Finally, films have started getting good titles. If it has to be a boy’s name, you can’t do a lot better, in my humble opinion. The film that took Cannes by storm, shot over 18 months on location in 2 countries (England and Wales) for a mind-blowing 45 pounds sterling, has now got a distributor and we be showing in cinemas proper all over the place (well, the UK, for a start). The premise of the movie is that the eponymous ‘hero’ has been attacked by a zombie, and is himself turning into one. We are let into his life before zombification, and follow his life while infected. A pretty nifty idea, I think, and pretty much the last place to go with the genre, following Shaun of the Dead (2004) and George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead (2007). A cracking name for a film it is too. I wish it every success. The trailer can be seen here, along with more info on the movie.
Warcraft:The Movie (2010): Sam Raimi has been named as the director for Warcraft: The Movie (2010), Blizzard Entertainment (the makers of World of Warcraft) announced this last week to the sound of millions of people saying “WTF?” I am a player of the game myself (don’t bother – heard it all before), but to me this sounds like a worse idea than fitting an outboard motor to a grapefruit. The back-story behind the game is robust enough, but as a film, I fear it will be a disaster. Can anyone tell me a game that has been made into a competent and interesting movie? No, of course you can’t. I don’t think giving it to the once-great Raimi is going to help much either.
Oh FFS: Some singer-bloke died recently, according to the press. Michael Jackman, or something. Anyhow, there seems to be a massive hoo-hah about it, and lots of people are turning a good few shekels with hastily produced mugs, calendars, books and CDs (surely his fans already have his CDs?)
Hot on the heels of this feeding-frenzy of exploitation comes the news that Sony Pictures is planning to make a feature film (if they actually have the nerve to call it that) of him rehearsing for the concert he never gave on account of being dead. Let me recap for you: they are making a film of a rehearsal of a show that never happened. Got it? I personally think that this is a test. Anyone actually insane enough to pony up knocking on €10 to see an over-rated junkie rehearsing for a show deserves to be legally certified and locked up for a lengthy stretch.
As if this wasn’t enough (and bear with me while I rant off at a tangent), said ‘performer’ is now being pushed forward as a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize by his adoring fans. If you want to vote, find the site by yourself – I won’t give it the oxygen. Three things these internet do-gooders seem to have forgotten:
- The committee does not choose by petition
- The committee is obliged to hand the prize to someone still alive (i.e. not dead)
- People voting for this hugely over-rated dead geezer are all fucking insane.
Have yourselves a lovely week, won’t you.