Picturenose

News reaches me that Sienna Miller is to star as Maid Marian in the upcoming re-jig of the Robin Hood story. Huh? A Robin Hood remake, surely not? Speaking to the BBC she gushed: “It’s happening. I just found out. It’s the most exciting news in the world.” She has obviously never won a Nobel Peace Prize. The new thing (also alleged to be starring Russell Crowe) will have the angle of sympathy for the Sheriff of Nottingham, facing a not-so-kind Hood. Well, I suppose they had to make it different somehow…

Now, I’m not going to go into a rant about how the BBC has let down the licence payers over the years by not scheduling quality drama (bear with me here, non-Brits), but they do seem to have lost their way of late - yes, I’m looking at you, Come Dancing. It is with enormous pleasure I find out that they not only intend to make at least two new single (standalone) plays, but that one of them will star Uma Thurman. It’s like having two prayers answered in one go. Ms Thurman will star in an adaptation of David Hare’s My Zinc Bed.

The Remade

I am following the disturbing trend of remaking films that should be left well alone with some interest. I am just waiting for the remake of Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow before I finally call it quits and get another passion besides watching films. The first is nary more than a rumour. According to a translation obtained by Bloody Disgusting, Josh Brolin is to reprise the role of Snake in the soon-to-start-shooting redo of Escape From New York (1981). I really hope this never happens. Kurt was the man, and Carpenter the only one who could have got away with it and still made it fun. The other disturbing news I have to relate is that there is (definitely) going to be a remake of Death Race 2000 (1975). Out later this year, it apparently does away with the cute concept of wantonly killing innocent bystanders and focuses more on the race in which prisoners are forced to compete. So, more kind of a ‘Death Running Race Man 2000′. I suppose I ought to provide you a link to the trailer, but be warned, it contains none of the satire, gallows humour and farce of the original. Indeed, it looks to me like standard formulaic bollocks.

The Mad

Perhaps “mad” is a little harsh. It transpires that Adam West has little time for the new, improved Batman. He has “only seen bits and pieces” of Nolan’s Batman, but it’s not to his taste. According to West, speaking in an interview for comicbookmovie.com, he finds the new-fangled Batman lacks a certain something. Of his work as The Batman for TV, he says: “It was silly and funny. With the villains, especially, it was almost Shakespearian because of the bizarre costuming and makeup.” I don’t know, maybe Mr West has lost a few of his marbles. Or maybe it’s me for believing that criminals dress up to rob banks with umbrellas and crime fighters take on the persona of flying mammalia. Whatever happens, Shakespeare it ain’t.