Picturenose

Beast at bay? Er, no…

Jesus Christ! What got Ghandi in such a bad mood? Sexy Beast (2000) was a film I came to very late (eight years late, in fact) and only watched on the insistence of James, who would ideally like me to see every film in the world, as he seems to have, but sometimes I do heed his recommendations, if only to stop him banging on about them. It turns out he was right about this one, though. (Thank you, Colin - J).

Read more »

Quantum leaps

So, that’s it then. With this movie review, Picturenose lays its cards on the table. Long live the new king - Daniel Craig, in just two portrayals, has wrested the ‘Best James Bond Ever’ title from one Sir Sean Connery (remember him?) and, in Quantum of Solace (2008), director Marc Forster and writers Paul Haggis, Neal Purvis and Robert Wade have delivered the first direct Bond sequel. Boy, have they delivered…

Read more »

Worst remake ever?

A disclaimer to start with - if you haven’t seen the original version of this, you’d do well not to read on. I can’t find a way of expressing my feelings about this remake without giving away at least one plot twist. You may also want to look away if you’re of a nervous disposition or don’t like bad language.

Read more »

Vengeance is mine!

Of the many adaptations of legendary graphic novel author Alan Moore, James McTeigue’s V for Vendetta (2005) is one that I think he would approve of. I say ‘think’, because he famously eschews the advances of the movie industry, and neither licenses nor watches any of the Hollywood adaptations of his art, preferring to let the graphic artists take the credit and the cash. He certainly wouldn’t like how the scriptwriters have changed the mission of the central character, V (Hugo Weaving), from anarchy to a much more screen-friendly freedom, but he’d probably enjoy how the style of the film captures the essence and feel of the original graphic novel series. Of course, I can’t and won’t speak for him, as he has already publicly denounced the screenplay, by Andy and Larry Wachowski, as ‘crap’ - I think he’s probably wrong.

Read more »

All just a bloody game…

I’ve been a film lover since I was first terrified by the wicked witch in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937) and a film professional for around 12 years, so, like choosing your football team late (which I also did - West Ham Utd, for those who care), it’s a relief to know that I can finally answer the ‘What’s Your Favourite Film?’ question that normally follows whenever I tell people about what I do.

Read more »

Time, the old enemy…

‘All irregularities will be handled by the forces controlling each dimension. Transuranic, heavy elements may not be used where there is life. Medium atomic weights are available: Gold, Lead, Copper…Jet, Diamond, Radium, Sapphire, Silver and Steel. Sapphire and Steel, have been assigned.’

Read more »

Road to Hell

It would appear that the mud really does stick. Returning from the 2006 Berlinale Film Festival, at which The Road to Guantánamo won the Silver Bear award, two of the actors (Rizwan Ahmed and Farhad Harun) and two of the ex-detainees were temporarily detained and interrogated by UK police. According to BBC News, a Brit bobby asked Ahmed if he intended to make any more political films. The Thought Police are closing in…

Read more »

Striking back against the Empire

Ken Loach’s controversial, Palme d’Or-winning study of Republicans v the Brits in 1920s Ireland raised the hackles of several well-known UK critics (who, customarily, didn’t feel the need to actually see the film) as well as Irish commentators. It’s normally a sign that an artist has got something right when he angers both sides of a debate and claims of bias seem moot when a film comprises such lyrical beauty, steadfast portrayals and a marvellous, articulate script.

Read more »

Wholly terrifying

In terms of that cold heart-thump, the scare that’s so sought after by strange people such as myself but so rarely found, David Fincher’s Se7en (1995) is probably as good as it got during the past decade or so, at least in the US, while Fabrice du Welz’s Belgian horror show, Calvaire (2004) kept up the European end.

Read more »

The same procedure…?

I was chatting with a German friend over lunch, and the subject of the Germans’ love of English comedy came up. This in turn led to a discussion of the phenomenon that is Dinner for One. It’s essentially a recording of an 18-minute music hall sketch, performed in English by an English actor and actress. Never heard of it? If you’re a Brit, I’m not surprised - to the best of my knowledge it has never been shown on UK television. The odd thing about it is that it is amazingly popular in countries such as Germany, Denmark, Austria and Sweden. It is always shown in the original English, and rarely (if ever) dubbed or subtitled. Every New Year’s Eve in these countries and others, the sketch is broadcast - often several times over the evening so everyone gets a chance to see it. It is as much a part of the German New Year as vomiting in a shop doorway is to the English.

Read more »