Picturenose

Killing joke

One of the cinematic sensations of the 21st century is that the Tom Hanks-led remake of this emblematic Ealing comedy, with Alec Guinness the mastermind of a brilliantly surreal blag featuring a gang disguised as chamber musicians, did not make fans of the original throw themselves under a train. Could there be a better testament to the muscle of the scenario and scripting of Alexander Mackendrick’s fine work?

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Damn hot!

A critic knows a masterpiece when it drives him or her to distraction in shoveling out a new angle with each new appraisal. With an auteur like Billy Wilder at the helm, one’s pencil is going to be bitten and licked to the quick.

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Fancy a ride? (Fnarr, fnarr)

The news of the imminent demise of the FX4 London black cab has been knee-jerkingly interpreted as another assault on ‘good old’ Britishness, a Fine Fare plastic bag of a nation’s fictitious and flawed autobiographical memory, formed of such relics as the Blitz, roast beef and Yorkshire pud, 1966 etc. And of course, Carry On movies. All of these retain a whiff of class, of a chippy prole culture wallowing in its own (fictional) salt-of-the-earthiness, a denial of sensuality and pleasure and learning for its own sake because unaffordable.

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Make believe. Not war.

It’s all over for me this year. I have seen the best British film that will be released in 2008. James always tells me I’m a little slow to criticize movies and I’m inclined to agree – as I’m not contractually obliged to see films I may hate, I tend to like the ones I see. Of course, if it turns out to be rubbish, you can be sure I’ll faithfully report the fact. Anyway, enough of my personal issues – Garth Jenning’s Son of Rambow should win awards by the bucketload. If it doesn’t, there’s no justice, pure and simple. So sure am I it will be successful, I’m going to award it the Picturenose ‘5-Star, Thumbs-Up, A1, All-Round Bloody Cracker of a Movie’ award right here and now. The others are sure to follow.

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I am not happy. There is soon to be a remake of a classic movie, Robert Wise’s The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951). You know the one – scary guy from outer space (with scary robot, Gort) appears to tell the world of the dire consequences to befall them if they don’t stop being nasty to each other. Klaatu (for it is he, Michael Rennie) warns the people of Earth that if all wars do not cease pretty damn quick and everyone starts to get on, the Earth will be destroyed. Faced with that sort of threat, the good people of our pretty blue planet get with the programme and all is well. Hooray!

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Send in the clones…

It had to happen eventually, I suppose - there have now been four versions of Jack Finney’s classic Collier magazine sci-fi/horror serial Invasion of the Body Snatchers brought to the big screen and, unfortunately, Olivier Hirschbiegel’s latest take is the first turkey.

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Greek gift

When I mentioned to James that I’d picked up a copy of this movie for around the price of a large beer, he threw me one of those looks that only a film critic can give. You know, the ‘ugh - what’s that on the bottom of my shoe?’ look. I took it from that and the slow shake of his head that he wasn’t, on the whole, too enamoured with it.

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Don’t pass this Buck
I have to put up my hand and make a confession. You’re not going to get a concise, objective review of this film because I absolutely love it. If you don’t want to read about how much fun it is, go and read one of our other reviews instead - they’re all good stuff but none is as biased as this is going to be.

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