Comments on: The Bodyguard (1992) http://www.picturenose.com/2009/10/the-bodyguard-1992/ ...a nose for a good picture Wed, 17 Mar 2010 03:06:07 +0000 hourly 1 By: James http://www.picturenose.com/2009/10/the-bodyguard-1992/comment-page-1/#comment-1242 James Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:46:22 +0000 http://www.picturenose.com/?p=942#comment-1242 You are indeed correct, Chris. Apparently, Costner spat his dummy out because of the sequence in <em>In Bed With Madonna</em> (1991) when he visits her dressing room, says he thinks the show is 'Really neat', then, when he leaves, Madonna and friend make fingers-down-throats gestures. Of such apocraphy are movie legends made... :-) You are indeed correct, Chris. Apparently, Costner spat his dummy out because of the sequence in In Bed With Madonna (1991) when he visits her dressing room, says he thinks the show is ‘Really neat’, then, when he leaves, Madonna and friend make fingers-down-throats gestures. Of such apocraphy are movie legends made… :-)

]]> By: chris http://www.picturenose.com/2009/10/the-bodyguard-1992/comment-page-1/#comment-1241 chris Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:02:11 +0000 http://www.picturenose.com/?p=942#comment-1241 At one point Madonna was considered for Ms. Houston's part. It might be the only film in history that could have been improved had she been cast. At one point Madonna was considered for Ms. Houston’s part. It might be the only film in history that could have been improved had she been cast.

]]> By: James http://www.picturenose.com/2009/10/the-bodyguard-1992/comment-page-1/#comment-1240 James Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:44:48 +0000 http://www.picturenose.com/?p=942#comment-1240 Gentlemen, gentlemen, all points taken on board. However, right, the ending is great, right, because, like, the priest is saying "And may the Lord watch over us and protect us" but no! It's Kevin Costner, as 'The Bodyguard', who is watching over and protecting him, as the marvellous crane shot reveals as it surges towards him looking dead serious while, at the same time, Whitney Houston's simply marvellous number belts out of the sound system. A very powerful moment that was sadly overlooked by most critics at the time of the film's original release... ;-) Gentlemen, gentlemen, all points taken on board. However, right, the ending is great, right, because, like, the priest is saying “And may the Lord watch over us and protect us” but no! It’s Kevin Costner, as ‘The Bodyguard’, who is watching over and protecting him, as the marvellous crane shot reveals as it surges towards him looking dead serious while, at the same time, Whitney Houston’s simply marvellous number belts out of the sound system. A very powerful moment that was sadly overlooked by most critics at the time of the film’s original release… ;-)

]]> By: Chris http://www.picturenose.com/2009/10/the-bodyguard-1992/comment-page-1/#comment-1238 Chris Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:09:24 +0000 http://www.picturenose.com/?p=942#comment-1238 It’s definitely Whitney. I think it’s the first movie I saw that was an ad for a music video. The thing is, <em>I Will Always Love You</em> is a great song. Written by Dolly Parton in 1974, it’s a sweet and subtle country classic, really nice, really lyrical and, as sung by Parton, is delicate and brittle. But Ms Houston bellows it out like a fog horn in drag. Ships veer off course when they play it too close to the coast. I hated it. It was an irredeemable crime from which no movie could recover. So, you could say the movie got off to a bad start before I'd even seen it. Beyond that, it was predictable, overly austere pap. On a normal day that would just make a movie average. OK, I’d rather have just predictable pap and leave the austerity at the door. But no, this was Whitney’s break into the movies wherein she would show she was a great actress. And that career lasted how long? One film? This one? Well, that hideous song is why. It’s definitely Whitney.

I think it’s the first movie I saw that was an ad for a music video. The thing is, I Will Always Love You is a great song. Written by Dolly Parton in 1974, it’s a sweet and subtle country classic, really nice, really lyrical and, as sung by Parton, is delicate and brittle. But Ms Houston bellows it out like a fog horn in drag. Ships veer off course when they play it too close to the coast. I hated it. It was an irredeemable crime from which no movie could recover. So, you could say the movie got off to a bad start before I’d even seen it.

Beyond that, it was predictable, overly austere pap. On a normal day that would just make a movie average. OK, I’d rather have just predictable pap and leave the austerity at the door. But no, this was Whitney’s break into the movies wherein she would show she was a great actress. And that career lasted how long? One film? This one?

Well, that hideous song is why.

]]> By: Colin http://www.picturenose.com/2009/10/the-bodyguard-1992/comment-page-1/#comment-1236 Colin Thu, 15 Oct 2009 08:11:19 +0000 http://www.picturenose.com/?p=942#comment-1236 Riveting. That's what I'd rather be doing than watching this utter crap. Or maybe buying a season ticket to the local amateur sailing championships. Such an impassioned defence of a film that would not be out of place on a double bill with <em>Dirty Dancing</em> (1987). What really bothered me was (in no particular order): Whitney "never sing one note when ten will do" Houston's wooden acting. Kevin Costner. OK, he's made some good movies, but has also made <em>Waterworld</em> (1995) and <em>The Postman</em> (1997). The general standard of acting is laughable. The direction is a cloying, predictable hash-job. The soundtrack which everyone raves about is just a vehicle for the talentless Miss Whitney. Sure, sing a few numbers in your whiny, soul-less voice. That'll bring the punters in. She warbles and twitters 'I will always love you' - possibly the worst song ever written, and the huddled masses leave their homes in droves to buy an album with which to piss off their neighbours. Thanks, Whitney. Storyline? Please. Which bit did you not see coming? Trite and hackneyed to the point of tedium. The on-screen 'chemistry' between the two lead characters. There was never a shred of documentary evidence as to why these people would want to spend more than ten minutes together. They are both unlikeable and boring. The script. Competent, you say? If the aim of the script was to make me want to stab myself in the ears with a knitting needle, it worked a treat. Otherwise, not great. Some sample dialogue: <strong>Rachel: And you're ready to die for me? Frank: It's the job. Rachel: And you'd do it? Why? Frank: I can't sing.</strong> Now that's what I call bollocks. Now that I think about it, I even hate the poster. Riveting. That’s what I’d rather be doing than watching this utter crap. Or maybe buying a season ticket to the local amateur sailing championships.

Such an impassioned defence of a film that would not be out of place on a double bill with Dirty Dancing (1987).

What really bothered me was (in no particular order):

Whitney “never sing one note when ten will do” Houston’s wooden acting.

Kevin Costner. OK, he’s made some good movies, but has also made Waterworld (1995) and The Postman (1997).

The general standard of acting is laughable.

The direction is a cloying, predictable hash-job.

The soundtrack which everyone raves about is just a vehicle for the talentless Miss Whitney. Sure, sing a few numbers in your whiny, soul-less voice. That’ll bring the punters in. She warbles and twitters ‘I will always love you’ – possibly the worst song ever written, and the huddled masses leave their homes in droves to buy an album with which to piss off their neighbours. Thanks, Whitney.

Storyline? Please. Which bit did you not see coming? Trite and hackneyed to the point of tedium.

The on-screen ‘chemistry’ between the two lead characters. There was never a shred of documentary evidence as to why these people would want to spend more than ten minutes together. They are both unlikeable and boring.

The script. Competent, you say? If the aim of the script was to make me want to stab myself in the ears with a knitting needle, it worked a treat. Otherwise, not great. Some sample dialogue:

Rachel: And you’re ready to die for me?
Frank: It’s the job.
Rachel: And you’d do it? Why?
Frank: I can’t sing.

Now that’s what I call bollocks.

Now that I think about it, I even hate the poster.

]]>