Comic-book history

I took my 10-year-old son to see this last week. He’s a fairly astute and mature boy, so I wasn’t too worried about some of the battle scenes that depict violent death and bloody retribution, but if you’re a parent, you may want to do a little research first. There really isn’t a huge amount of gratuitous violence; this is just a friendly heads-up, just in case. He loved the film and the story is a well-paced and visually exciting romp through days of yore.

Did I enjoy it? For the most part, yes. Having seen a movie or two in my time, I am familiar with the idea that you need to suspend disbelief sometimes in order to enjoy the story. In 10,000 BC, however, there are just so many inconsistencies that I had prevent myself from spoiling it for my son by shouting “no way!” after many scenes. Given that the story is set – somewhat unsurprisingly – in the year 10,000 BC, the people by turns were extremely advanced and terribly backward at the same time. I’ll get on to this a bit later – beware that there may be spoilers involved, so you’ll get fair warning if you don’t want to look.

The story in itself is a bit of fun, containing many elements which even those with little knowledge of movies will see coming. There is an unfulfilled prophecy, peaceful hunters turned into vengeful warriors due to circumstance, putting aside differences for the common good, and – simply put – “sticking it to the man”. All stirring stuff, and no great surprise given that it was directed by Roland Emmerich of Independence Day (1996) and The Day After Tomorrow (2004) fame. The special effects are well done, but again there are no surprises.

The story begins with a tribe (we never learn their name) who hunt mammoths for food. There is a power struggle between the youth of the tribe as to which of them is the greatest hunter and who will carry the coveted white spear and lead their people. A fairly simple lifestyle, which is complicated by the arrival of a young girl, Evolet (Camilla Belle) who tells of her village from the other side of the valley being destroyed and the tribe captured by the “four-legged demons”. She forms a bond with our hero D’Leh (Steven Strait) and eventually he takes her as his bride. So far, so good – until the four-legged demons turn up and lay waste to their camp, taking Evolet with most of the others as captives. The scene is then set for D’Leh to undertake an epic journey to win back his woman and free his fellow tribesmen.

Beware – spoilers ahead!

It is this journey and the events surrounding it that really made me swallow hard at times. The historical and geographical inaccuracies were often too many to count. There is a scene, vital to the plot (such as it is) in which D’Leh confronts a sabre-tooth tiger. Sabre-tooths never existed in the same era. The four-legged demons were slavers on horseback in a time when man hadn’t even begun to think about domesticating horses. The search party sets off from a snowy wasteland and in a matter of days is trapped in a steaming tropical rainforest – the snowy mountains still dominating the backdrop. Last of all, if you expect me to believe that mammoths were used to carry the stones for building pyramids, you’re seriously mistaken.

Spoilers end here.

All in all it’s a bit of harmless entertainment if you just look at it as a fantasy film. I’m probably being very picky about various things, but it’s not a bad little tale of struggle and victory against the odds if you’re prepared to overlook all the glaring historical gaffes. We don’t have a rating system here on Picturenose, but if we did I think I’d give this film half the points available. Half for being an amusing diversion the kids will most likely enjoy and half off for being so utterly mixed up. Grab a gremlin or two to take and you’ll probably enjoy it more.

109 mins.